Thursday, September 17, 2009


I'm coming out of it. Finally, today, Thursday, I feel more like myself. I've got the pain but I actually welcome it -- I can feel it sharply, intensely, the way it really feels, not distorted through a haze of drugs and withdrawal symptoms. The nausea remains, though lessened, but the crippling headache and disorientation are gone. I'll sleep a lot today, but less than I have been.

Coffee tastes good again, for the first time in about a week. I'm not craving the usual gallons I drink in the early morning, just a cup or so, but it's a start. I think after another day or so of rest I'll be ready to re-enter the world. I'll need to call the doc tomorrow and get cleared to go back to work, and the continued swelling notwithstanding that's exactly what I'm planning.

We managed to get a couple of kid things done this week, somehow. We got Olivia out of her ill-fated US History class and into a regular global class. She's acting as though a great weight was lifted, and seems excited about her upcoming English reading (I'm excited: Othello, Brave New World, and I've strongly encouraged her to actually read these books and not to rely on Spark Notes.) Also looks like we've secured an SAT tutor for her. His name is Wesley, he taught Liv's best friend and they'll start a week from Sunday. Let's hope the genetic inheritance of poor-test-taking ends before her.

Matt's coming home for the weekend, which is great. All he needs to feel at home at school is to meet some people and make some friends, but he's resisting all of the traditional ways to do that.

Nick had jury duty yesterday and managed to get out of it not just for this week but for 6 years. It wasn't his connections to law enforcement that liberated him, but the fact that he's a sole proprietor. Either way, he's free, and relieved (though he admitted that the 3-week criminal trial they were recruiting jurors for sounded interesting; it would have been incredibly disruptive and stressful for him to have served.)

Another crisis averted.

So we'll have a quiet few days coming up, and with luck they'll be the last few quiet days for a while. Starting next week it's time for my next "re" -- now that I've re-emerged and began to re-enter it's time to re-engage, and just get back to full participation in my own life. I miss work and the complications it entails, the ups and downs, the intractable problems easily solved, the teams to work with and help improve. I'm looking forward to next week.

Our social life can get back on track too, and we can soon start to see our friends again. And Nick can offload so many of the responsibilities he's had to take on during my helplessness. I want to share the chores again.

I'll be able to turn off the damn TV except for selected programming; not having it on as a running tap as I have the last few days since these drugs kicked in and robbed my focus and attention span.

So after today I'm looking forward to a better weekend, to a return to consciousness and clarity, to Scrabble and mojitos, to being able to sit upright for a 1/2 hour without needing a rest after, to taking care of some errands (no one can really do my drug store shopping but me, and I'm running out of many things), to starting to switch out my clothes for the new season, to hanging out with Nick and with the kids, to spending far less time in bed, to pulling my weight and doing my share.

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