Happy birthday Holly

Holly turned one year old a few days ago. She hasn't evidenced much maturity with the passage of time. She has a new and unwelcome trick: she drags the fireplace grate open enough for her to get in and drag out the burnt charcoal. Face smudged and guilty, she knows she's in trouble but keeps doing it again and again. Nick bought a new gate that's helping keep her in the living room, which is helpful. But she's a Jack Russell -- busy, smart, obstinate -- and it shows in everything she does. I worked from home yesterday and she stayed most of the day in her (unlocked) pen in the sunroom. Nick moved it closer to the radiator and she loves the warmth. The problem though is obvious: she sleeps all day and by the evening is a whirling dervish, vibrating with energy and intensity. She's so damned cute that it makes everything ok. Nice evolutionary turn, I'd say -- her size and appearance protect her. Clever.

Big storm coming

That's what they say -- that we're about to be blanketed with snow. We're ready: Nick did a thousand errands yesterday and we're loaded up with salt and scrapers, firewood and food, just in case. We're having dinner tonight with my parents, and are scheduled to see the last play tomorrow in the Brother/Sister play trilogy, but we'll see what the weather permits.


Olivia and I met with the college counselor the other night. It started out rocky -- they didn't really know each other -- but got better. The good news is that Liv is reasonable and focused; she knows what she wants (and more importantly what she doesn't want). She wants to stay in NY and go to a school with a strong performance program. And we brainstormed some ideas to help her distinguish herself. I love what we collaboratively came up with: a project that combines performance and service. The idea is simple: work with a couple of her performing-arts friends to bring to life children's stories with acting and music. Either live or by DVD this little troupe would bring the stories to sick children in area hospitals. This is a great way for Olivia to combine her strong desire for service with her estimable leadership schools and love of performance. I've gotten in touch with the executive director the Starlight Foundation, an organization we support pro bono which works directly with hospitalized kids, and she sounded open and interested. Nick and I will help her in any way we can, and she couldn't be more excited about this.

Matt got in late last night, and was pretty cheerful, though tired from finals and traveling. He'll be home for a few days catching up on eating and sleeping before he leaves next week for the UK. We started talking last night about healthcare reform and the degree of our disgust and frustration with what's going on, but neither of us had much heart for the conversation, so it's tabled till today.

It wasn't an easy week: travel (I did San Francisco as a day trip, and I don't recommend it), tons of meetings, work, issues and complexity, back/hip pain bad enough to ground me on Sunday and Monday. And no answers in sight on my physical issues. Hip ortho suddenly not returning calls; rheum requested and will be reviewing films and reports, and an overall sense that no one is really in charge of figuring this thing out. I hope to know more next week but I'm not feeling terribly confident about the medical professionals in my orbit and their willingness and ability to look at this situation and deal with it in a rational and comprehensive way.

Seeing the future

Here's the thing with plans: I love making them. I like knowing that the calendar is full of events and evenings with friends and interesting things to do and see. Weeks in advance of things I can't imagine that I'll be anything but happy with the plans I've made, right until the day those plans arrive. Daniel Gilbert talks about this a lot in his book "Stumbling into Happiness" about the human inability to project how we'll feel in the future. He's right, of course. It's when the day actually arrives that I wonder what I was thinking when I scheduled us for weekday events back to back, or other such complications.

A long work day yesterday that began with a morning client presentation in Connecticut. Then back to the city for work, meetings, check-ins before an end-of-day haircut. Nick met me at the hair place (though was too intimidated to come up to the floor.) I had good news for him: I'd spoken at length to my hairdresser about Jamie's plans to become a stylist. He had not only good advice but a specific plan and offer -- once she has her license she can get a job at his place as an assistant, which includes real training and apprenticeship. I couldn't wait to tell Nick so he could tell Jamie.

After we met -- in the brutal, biting cold -- we headed downtown to the East Village where we were meeting Olivia and Jon. Very nice dinner at a place on East 4th called B Bar. Nick and I got their first and had a drink at the bar, where a blotto couple were asking the waitress to define iambic pentameter. She couldn't. (I could but didn't volunteer.) The kids showed up and we had a really nice dinner. After that we headed down the block to see a version of Carson McCullers's
"The Heart is a Lonely Hunter." It was surprisingly strong and well done, with one breakout performance by the girl who plays Mick. The kids and Nick loved it; it was instantly one of Nick's favorite plays (I'm always relieved when he loves something since I'm responsible for this entire aspect of our lives.) It was great, and when we left we heard a couple say that no play or story set in the American South ever ends well. Too true, so true (as college girls write in the margins of "The Bell Jar.")

Great evening. From there to Penn, where we missed the next train and made the 11:35. Lots of fun.

Today will be about rest and recovery. Someone's coming to see the house this morning, and we have a couple of errands to do. Otherwise this will be our time -- lots of resting, hanging out, scrabbling and mojitos (they made a decent mojito at the place last night but not nearly in Nick's league.) Tomorrow will be abbreviated: I have to leave midday to fly for a Monday meeting. I'll be back Monday night, and then Tuesday morning I leave for the West Coast, back Thursday morning on the red-eye. Should be my last week of grinding intensity before the break, which will be even more welcome than usual.

Or,

I was in no mood to see a play Thursday. It was a long day that began with an early client meeting in Connecticut, followed by back-to-back meetings and client calls that lasted past 7. There was no time to meet Nick for dinner; we were meeting at the theater. It was freezing cold that night, with wind that whipped around corners and made all the layers of warm clothes meaningless. So when we walked in to the theater on 55th between 9th and 10th I was -- if not in a foul mood -- not really up to a play I knew little about. I remembered little of the reviews I'd read save generally positive notices.

So glad we went! It was delightful -- funny and clever and witty and quick. The "Or," refers to the ambiguities of time, gender and sexuality. The story itself seemed to be a maguffin, but a terrific maguffin it was -- giving the playwright and the actors a jumping off point to explore these ambiguities. We laughed throughout the play, as did everyone in the audience.

A charming clever play I'd recommend highly.

developing stories

Got to the rheumatologist yesterday. It was a long visit -- a history, exam and a chat. She gave me a TB test in case I end up on drugs for inflammatory arthritis and explained the difference and the relationship between inflammatory and mechanical (osteo) arthritis. She thinks it's likely to be inflammatory, given the symptoms, the rapid development of arthritis, and family history. The visit turned into an odyssey, as she sent me for x-rays (pelvis, hip, sacro-iliac and hands) and then for blood work (15 different tests requiring 9 tubes of blood.) I won't know anything for a couple of weeks, but of course I'm bothered both by the possibility that I have one of these inflammatory forms and more so by the fact that none of the orthos even mentioned this as a possibility. Even if it turns out not to be (fingers crossed) it's the kind of thing that should be evaluated and ruled out (or in.) It was really because of Jeff's partner's email (the doc I've been emailing with) and my experience with RA via our client relationship that this came up at all. Disturbing. And another example of our fragmented, fractured healthcare system, where there's no systemic coordination and everyone evaluates and treats within their own silo.

Otherwise all fine. Busy week leading up to next week's full-travel schedule. Tonight we're seeing a new play called "Or,", and tomorrow night we're taking Liv and Jon to see "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter." Dinner Saturday with Wendy and Perry. Should be a fun and full weekend.

Liv is excited about her possible path to celebrity via the talent agent, and now we've got to take and collect photos of her that show her more fresh-faced and less made up than in her comp card. Matt's travel plans over the break are shaping up; he sent me confirmations yesterday of his inter-European flights and hostel reservations. He's going to have a blast, no doubt.

So just digging in for the rest of this week and next, which are incredibly intense. But it all ends the week after when the long holiday break starts, which will be great and welcome.

A snowy Saturday

Our first snow -- it was wet, cold and sloppy -- but at least it felt like weather! We went into the city to see The Brother/Sister plays at the Public on Lafayette Street. It's a trilogy, and we saw two of the plays yesterday. They were very cool and well done -- well written, staged and acted, and an interesting exploration of issues including race and sexuality. Some members of the audience left at intermission; others clearly didn't know what the play was like (or had trouble understanding the dialogue: it did require that your ears adjust.) But we liked it a lot.

Nick is off to the park now with Holly. Yesterday she was voted "cutest dog" -- wonder what took so long! She loves it and spends the rest of the day sleeping to recover from the running, playing, running, playing. It's a Holly's life.

Today will be easy. No one's coming to look at the house (first time in 4 days) so we can relax more. Nick and I both have work to do. Liv has homework -- regular homework, SAT prep (tutor at 4) and a concert report that I'll help her write. Why does she need my help? Because she's writing about the string quartet performance we attended, but she didn't. Whenever she sees something that would qualify for one of these reports she procrastinates (surprise!) and then takes too long to write it. So I'll describe and explain what we saw, and she'll make it her own.

The afternoon will include the football game (Cowboys are playing), reading, Scrabble and hanging out. I may see if I can wrap some of Nick's gifts on the sly.

And tonight a local dinner with Lamia and Mirwan, which is always fun. It's been too long since our last get-together, a function of schedules, travel and in my case, surgeries.

The week that was

It was an interesting one, and here are some highlights in no particular order:

Scrabble, part 1

The first game Nick and I played on returning from Canada was one of the best, if not the best, we've ever played. Our combined scores were a mere 17 points shy of 800. Nick had one 7-letter (squirms) that earned him 106, and even my two 7's didn't let me prevail. He played a brilliant game. And I promised him I'd blog here about his triumph. Well done, my love.

Scrabble, part 2

The re-match was last night, after I got back from Boston. Nick was winning from the first move and kept up his lead the entire game. He never relaxed (he never does when he's ahead) but as the game neared its close he started to believe the game was his. But I rallied: on my very last turn I did a 7-letter word (insults) which ended the game in a surprise victory for me. Great game, and whew.

Music

Our new season at Carnegie Hall started this week. It's a 3-concert series of string quartets. On Wednesday after a lovely dinner at Rue 57 we attended the first one: the Mendelsson string quartet, which is ending its 30-year run this season. Nick's favorite was the Bartok, mine might have been the Beethoven. Music so beautiful you could week (my eyes filled with tears as soon as the first piece began.) A beautiful evening.

Whitney

Our soldier sounds down. Clearly everything is wearing on her, and she's homesick and worried about her boyfriend, who is off on a mission. She's now a gunner. Liv and I are writing to her often, and we bought her a couple of really cute sweaters from J Crew that we'll send in the next few days. It was Liv's idea to get her cozy sweaters, and it's a great one.

Friends update

Gena and Peter broke up last Sunday, and we've been talking all week. She's heartbroken and I feel so bad for her; she was so happy right up until the end. Sarah and Toby are going to be moving to a house in the next couple of weeks and they're so psyched. It's a big upgrade and we couldn't be more thrilled for them. Hope to see them and the house soon. Tomorrow we have dinner with Lamia and Mirwan -- long delayed and long overdue.

Our weekend

Today we go to the Public Theater for a matinee of one of the parts of the Brothers/Sisters Play, which is supposed to be great. Unusual for us to go in the daytime, but we're really looking forward to it.

House activity

A sudden burst of interest this week. Lots of lookers and all of a sudden, and people seem to really like the house (this time, this week, no guarantees.) We'll see what happens.

Things medical

Based on Marty's advice (my old friend Jeff's partner, who is a doc) I'm going to see a rheumatologist to rule out RA (rheumatoid arthritis.) Just seems to be the responsible thing to do, given the rapidity and severity of my arthritis. Probably isn't RA (I know a few things about it since we work for a pharma company that makes one of the leading RA drugs) but worth looking into. When I called Jose the ortho to ask about this, I had an exchange with the PA about it. She said that if Jose had suspected RA he'd have addressed it. Given the silo'd nature of our medical care I've already learned that docs stay so tightly inside their own specialties that they don't always think beyond what they know and treat. The PA actually sounded annoyed at my question (which annoyed me); that I might be doubting a doc -- horrors. The return call -- after she'd spoken to him -- was a bit better; he said if I wanted to check it out he'd refer me to a rheumatologist. I decided to go see the rheum my Mom sees, and we've already had one email exchange. More to come, but I'd like to have this evaluated and answered before I go bionic (which looks now like late January.)

Things lost

So I lost my ipod on the plane home from Toronto. Matt sent me his recommendation on a replacement (another nano or the itouch) and I'll order one of them today. And I finally did something about the lost earring. I'd lost one of the beautiful earrings that Nick got me on a plane from SF -- what is it with me and planes? The people at the local jewelry store where he'd bought them were incredibly helpful. Even though the original ones were no longer available I was able to find similar ones and use the single earring as a trade-in. A happy resolution.

Mad Men

DM News ran a 30th anniversary piece on the history of direct marketing (I was interviewed a few months back). They called the piece "Direct Mad Men" and apparently I'm one of them. They misspelled my name, referred to me as "he", but what the hell, it's ink. And I feel privileged to be mentioned in such exalted company.

http://www.dmnews.com/direct-mad-men-talk-of-transformation/article/158503/